lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wish i was in the wii world.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
