The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
two words...techno handjob
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
