Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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