you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
