entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
