South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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