So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize