if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up under a house in Key West
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
