how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
