he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
