Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys donβt want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize