But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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