Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
