So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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