Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
vagina is talking i cant
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
