so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
