My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
