At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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