Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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