I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
