omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
