how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
