Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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