That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize