Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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