a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize