honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
