why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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