I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
