I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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