I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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