Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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