My brain says no but my pants say off.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
