Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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