none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
