I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
birth control should be required to get into college
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
