last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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