He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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