a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
