she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
