I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
