You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
honey bunches of taint.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
