you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
