Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
