did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
