I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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