I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
