Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Someone signed my nipple.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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