Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
