You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
