her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
