yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
