new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
