YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
