if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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