You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
