The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
nutella sex= disaster
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
