Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
