Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The uberlube is also flammable
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
