we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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