You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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