Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize