GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
