i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
