I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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